Okay, true confessions, I am not always up and positive, I don’t always imagine the best will happen, sometimes I can be laid low by frustrations in business and life. Generally I have conquered the long term depression I was diagnosed with some ten years ago, but it always lurks in the shadows ready to knock me flat when I give in. I’ve been giving in lately and am stepping up my game to win this fight.
I’m telling you this because the holidays can be a particularly precarious time for many, added stress, toxic relatives (we all have them), and unrealistic expectations on all sides. Here are a handful of techniques I use to beat back the blues and knock out depression when it descends.
#1 Do Anything! It is virtually impossible to be truly depressed and be active at the same time. So the antidote to the blues is activity of any kind. That could take the form of exercise, networking, catching up with friends, going out to eat, volunteering, really anything active that gets your mind off yourself.
#2 Call a Friend! I mean a real friend, someone that has seen you through thick and through thin and you have seen them the same way. This person is smart enough to distract you, rather than indulge you, and provide even temporary relief from the gremlins of depression.
#3 Change Your Routine! Often we get stuck in a rut and this makes it much easier to be depressed on schedule, so to speak. When you vary your routine, you knock out that opportunity. Get up earlier or stay up later, change your diet (sugar is a major mood wrecker), do something you’ve never done before, delegate or eliminate distasteful chores. Mix it up.
#4 Hug Your Pet! I have been without my wonderful furry family for over a week and didn’t realize the toll that was exacting. Having them with me this weekend has helped immeasurably, it is unconditional love on both sides and they are moving with me tonite to Atlanta. Now clearly this works best if it is a pet, like a dog, cat, hamster or such. Gold fish are hard to hug, but whatever works for you is what to do.
#5 Reach Out! This is likely the most difficult for those of us who are single and used to it. We pride ourselves on being self sufficient and not needing anyone. RUBBISH! I need people in my life and I need them NOW! I’m betting you do too. Now you may be smarter than I am and have created that support network, I am having to rebuild after two isolated years of virtual living in the mountains. I’ll get there.
Hey Melissa,
First of all, hello!
Second, thanks for writing this brave, helpful post. Your practical suggestions for getting “de-funked” are tried, true, and always worth repeating and relearning.
While you, I, and likely most of your readers know absolutely that the only real source of serenity and joy is within, we’re also the source/cause of our own upset and discomfort. In taking responsibility for our own emotional health and happiness, and by reaching out to others, including friends, loved ones, and pets, and through activities we enjoy, we exercise our choice and our ability to shake up our stuff to get out of our own mess.
I like your list and applaud you, Melissa. I’d add one more, playing music that gets you going and dancing your butt off!
With love and respect, as always,
Bruce
Bruce,
You are so right about the music, I boogie out in the car even more than house these days.
My apologies for delay in this, I think I need to adjust my routine because comments are food for my soul always.
Hugs, Melissa
Hello Melissa,
A great list and really good advice! I especially love that we can hug our pets. Mine is a big fat cat named Pepper, and she is always so appreciative of a rub on the neck. She loves me no matter what the day was like.
The holidays are a great time to reach out. Some years we make cookies or little baggies filled with candy with personal notes that we deliever to the neighbors– even the ones we don’t know at all.
I have one other to add to the list, and that is laughter. If you have XM radio or cable TV, there is always a quick commedy show to catch. The best laughter though is being around people who make you laugh, or even those silly pets that do silly things (so get out the balls of yarn).
Thanks for the posts-
Here’s to you and all of us!
Margo
Margo,
Thanks so much, yes, my kitties are awesome experts at unconditional love!
And I do enjoy XM in the car and laugh myself silly, need to bring that to my home as well.
Appreciate the share entirely, and apologize for long delay in reply!
Hugs, Melissa
Hi Melissa,
I really appreciate it when other people choose to be authentic about thier own pain. Its real and we need more real people telling real stories. I think your list is great and thought you might like to read mine…
1. Watch your language ( and thoughts)… When I get down, I give myself a little time to have a pity party and then I stop it by saying something like “This is not helpful.” I know I am having a REALLY bad day when I hear myself saying it over and over. But for some reason, it helps.
2. Do something hard. For me it is exercise because I am continuously forcing myself to do it. But there is nothing more uplifting then doing something you thought would be hard and getting through it. I joined the Biggest Loser contest at my local health club and its been the best thing for my self esteem. Plus the exercise has boosted my happy hormones…which is always a plus!
3. Do something nice for yourself. I think you already listed some great ideas. I think the hardest thing I have learned to do in my life is love myself and be compassionate towards me. The thing about it is, that it is impossible to not feel better when you connect to people who love you… it helps to remind me that I am worthy of love.
4. Watch the stories. It is human to make up stories about the good, bad, ugly in our lives. Rarely are stories helpful when we are challenged by the stuff happening around us. I have learned to catch myself early when I start telling a story about something…particularly if the story triggers anger, loneliness or fear. When that happens I revert to Rule #1.
Hope that helps… Thanks, Melissa!
Betsy,
I love your list, brilliant and very helpful to me and everyone else who reads it.
Many thanks and for your patience in my delayed acknowledgement and appreciation.
Hugs, Melissa
Very well said! Love the article and the fact that you touch many lives with the honest and authentic sharing of your own life’s experiences, adding in some suggestions. Bravo.
Thanks Mary,
Great to hear from you, been ages. Often think of you and hope all is well.
Time to share a whole lot more on a much more regular basis.
Hugs, Melissa
Hey Melissa,
Great article. I appreciate you being “real”, often folks hide behind a mask and it takes real strength to let folks peek behind it. I agree with your list and suggest one more, and that is to read positive quotes and uplifting or motivational material. These always help me want to be a better me.
Thanks for sharing.
Jane Ann
Jane Ann,
You are spot on! First let me apologize for my dreadful delay in replying. I so strive to be prompt because comments truly fuel me in the most positive of ways. OOPS.
I share quotes non-stop on Twitter and it makes a difference to touch others with those daily.
Hugs, Melissa
Hey Melissa,
Thank you so much for that look into your life–it touched me more than you know. I admire you so much already, but this article allowed me to get off the “lonely island” and join the masses in realizing that no matter how successful we think someone is and they don’t have to face the issues or feelings we personally are, it’s not true. We are all connected this way–it’s just our personal thinking that keeps us so isolated. It’s the constant reminders of goodness and love that get me through as well as fabulous people like you to keep me uplifted! Rock on sister, you’re not alone in all of this!
Sending hugs,
Stacy
Stacy,
This means the world to me and encourages me to share a lot more that I tend to keep to myself so I don’t bring anyone down. Sometimes the mantel of positivity can be a lot to carry!
Hugs, Melissa
Melissa,
Thank you! Thank you for this posting. I too, have bouts with depression and am going through one at this time. Trying to get a small business coaching venture going while dealing with some financial setbacks has been getting me down lately. Your suggestions as well as those from others are great and are helping to lift my spirits. I particularly know that I need to interact with others on a more regular basis as well as getting back into an exercise program.
Yes Valanda,
Interaction is something I have seriously underestimated by isolating myself in the mountains of NC the last two years. Not my smartest move.
I now have a place in Atlanta and am out with others a lot more and enjoying it. Now I crave social interaction on levels I never imagined.
I also miss my expercise routine and need to get back to that.
Hugs, Melissa
I know you like quotes-I usually think about this one when I need to get my head on straight
It has been attributed to Mark Twain but I haven’t been able to verify it–
Work like you don’t need the money-
Love like you’ve never been hurt-
Dance like nobody’s watching-
Mel
Mel
Thanks Mel,
Yes, that is an oldie and a goodie and I appreciate the reminder always.
Looking forward to seeing TWain’s autobiography being released in upcoming weeks.
Hugs, Melissa
Dear Melissa,
In an internet world full of people who are all jockeying for who is the next “it” girl, your authenticity shines above the crowd.
Good for you for telling the truth. We need to be examples not just by the brilliant work we do, but by sharing what we have overcome as well.
Big blessings my friend!
Therese
Therese,
That means the world coming from you. I am truly honored. You set a shining example yourself. Thanks for being a true blue friend.
Hugs, Melissa
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