How NOT to be Human
I know that the title sounds kind of silly, so let’s look at this for a minute. If you are anything like me, you are bombarded by internet marketing messages that are “personalized” for you but in fact are incredibly impersonal. I am even getting these now through LinkedIn from people who have idiotically decided to send the same message to their entire network soliciting business (definitely not a good idea.)
On Being Real and Human
My favorite marketers (if one can use those two words in the same phrase) are those that are REAL and HUMAN. They share what is going on in their life and relate that to whatever it is they are promoting. (Hey I’m cool with them making a living, I do the same thing in my own way.) Yes, some have it easier when they are married with kids, always antics to share. I kind of struggle with that because I’m single with no kids and while on occasion I’ll share dating stories, I have a private life and want to keep it that way! You’d be surprised at the material you can gather from a simple trip to the grocery store, a night out with friends, or an errand to the dry cleaners.
A Personal Example
In a recent email to my community (note, you aren’t a list, but a tribe I cherish and appreciate) I shared that I was going to step back from my regular marketing tips and strategy smarts on a regular post because I needed to put personal business front and center. I’d lost a very dear friend and needed to travel for services and made the decision to be offline for a few days. (I am in charge of technology, it is not in charge of me!) It was truly heartwarming to get such awesome supportive responses from so many because I am truly HUMAN. My alternative was to “schedule” an expert post, but I chose to pull back the curtain instead.
So my question to you is, are you acting like some sort of automated professional who spouts great materials but never shares your HUMAN side, or are you being REAL and fully HUMAN with your community. (HINT: If you are calling them a list, rethink your humanity.)
Why Being Real and Human Matters to Your Market
To establish real connection, you’ve got to lead with all of yourself. Stop being that 180 degree professional that we used to see everywhere. In the Social Age it is about being human first, then a professional. People want to get to know you beyond your business, they want all 360 degrees of you. They want to know if you share their values, watch the same TV they do, have traveled to the same destinations, eat at the same restaurants (or stay home and cook), they want to “see” you. They want to know that you aren’t perfect, that you have made mistakes, experienced loss, and have challenges. They want to know you are REAL and HUMAN as imperfect as that is!
When you are willing to show your humaness, pull back the curtain on your reality, you’ll find that you connect far more meaningfully with your community, your clients, your market, your colleagues, and the world at large. We want your imperfectness, your awesomeness, your weaknesses, and your strengths. Give it here.
As always, I look forward to your comments and invite you to share your thoughts on what the words I’ve put here.
Some of the best responses I ever receive is when I use Joe Stumpf’s idea of writing a “letter from the heart.” They say things like, “I’ve never gotten a letter like this from a real estate agent. I feel like know you better now.” Thanks Melissa for your insight. I look forward every day to what you have to say. May God bless you and your work.
Glen,
Delighted to hear that. Yes, it does make a big difference, the trick is to do it on a consistent basis so you form real relationships beyond just professional limits and it leads to being their top source for referral and being a resource to them for other service providers!
Hugs, Melissa
Melissa this is a great article and a strong point I’ve felt for years. Social media is a different ball game and people are on it to get to know all sides of you and not just business.
But I’ve run up against coaches who feel I shouldn’t post personal stuff, no one wants to know about drama with kids or my animal rescue. That in fact it could scare off potential clients.
My thoughts are, if the fact I have kids and a passion for animals scares off a potential client, then it probably wasn’t a good fit to begin with.
I want to connect with people who “get” that I have a life outside of business. That “life happens” and sometimes things come up that are outside of my control.
I don’t like to just know clients on a professional level. I want to know what’s going on in their lives too.
For me it’s not just business…it’s personal.
Tracey,
Right you are, they should get to know you as a whole person not a half of one! And I agree, if they don’t like all of you, they probably aren’t worth doing business with.
Great to hear from you.
Hugs, Melissa
I think my lists know I’m human, since I’m very open about what’s going on in my life. I don’t just write about things connected to my products and services, I also write and record videos about chronic pain, holiday celebrations (among other things).
Yes Linda,
I think you audience knows and appreciates your humanness :).
Hugs, Melissa
Thanks 🙂
I know this to be true, but it’s so nice to be reminded. I recently had a conversation with one of my mentors who reminded me that Life Coaching must flow out of Life Living. People connect more with heart-sharing than head knowledge.
Kimberly,
That is beautifully put . . . life coaching must flow out of life living. I agree entirely, glad to be a good reminder.
Hugs, Melissa
“Stop being that 180 degree professional” Wow… Best.Phrasing.Ever!
I’ve seen lots of people saying ‘be more human” love how you phrased it.
I spent 30+ years being “a professional” and it is VERY hard to relax and let the “me” come thru in my writing. I’m working on it, but it is tough…I sit in front of a keyboard and boom, instant “professional”…lmao.
Thank you for a great article and the permission to be real!
((((healing hugs)))) on the loss of a dear friend.
Thanks Chris,
Yes, I agree, it can be very hard. I know your feeling all too well. Sometimes I miss those days of professional over here and personal over there and never the twain shall mix . . .
Hugs, Melissa
Melissa,
I loved reading this post today! It had gotten buried in my inbox, but I’m actually glad I opened it now instead of before.
I am a new business owner and just started planning for 2013 (was in a learning mode most of 2012). I took a vacation at the beginning of Jan and expected to do a lot of planning during my down time (thinking my mind would be quieter then), but ran into tons of family issues while on vacation. I never got to that planning time and fell behind on my blogging.
When I read your post, the premise hit me right between the eyes and I had a huge light bulb moment! I had been concentrating so hard on being “professional” and jumping back into the thick of business work, that I was pushing away what I really needed to concentrate on. Transitioning through the messiness leftover from the failed vacation and reorganizing the business priorities to create a more realistic & “human” plan.
Thank you for your timely post and introducing the idea of sharing my “humaness” with my community. It is a lesson I look forward to putting into practice AND sharing with my clients/colleagues.
Lynn Spiro
_____
Lynn Spiro & Company
Professional Organizing for Your Home & Business
lspiro@lynnspiro.com
Lynn,
Timing is always perfect and I know that feeling of I’ll do my planning in my downtime, but something always comes up. Planning requires it’s own time, and being human is an essential piece of that.
So great to get your comment!
Hugs, Melissa