I speak a lot about identifying your ideal target market; how to create that perfect profile that will enable you to attract and capture clients and customers you will love and who love you back. You know, these are the kind of clients and customers that you jump out of bed in the morning for, excited to work with. Well, this afternoon I was behind a hybrid Yukon (somehow that feels like an oxymoron to me) and I couldn’t stop looking at the bumper sticker they had, “Less Judgment, More Curiosity.” It reminded me all too well of how often we as business professionals and owners overlook our perfect client because we have inaccurately judged them. Let me share some examples here.
Don’t Be Fooled by the Accent
Years ago (way before Google) when I was teaching a DIY decorating class at a local university, I almost missed out on a great client because I made some stupid judgments. My students were typically busy professionals, homeowners, and some active moms, these were continuing education classes. They ranged from upper income to utter budget, I never knew unless I got to talk with them in class. This time, I got a phone call from one student asking about my services. She had a heavy foreign accent that I didn’t recognize and she wasn’t at all clear on what she wanted. As I listened to her, my judgment factors got the best of me and decided that I’d go out for a home review (never free, so that was a good sign) because she was my student, but I didn’t expect much. I was even thinking it would be a waste of time. Was I in for a surprise.
Ideal Clients Come in Many Packages
It turns out that not only was she highly educated and lived in a very nice home in a great neighborhood, but her husband was a Chief Oncologist at a local hospital. They had moved to Atlanta from Cuba and while his accent was less distinct, she hadn’t really lost hers and it could be tough to understand her at times. She ultimately hired me to do their great room, breakfast room, music room, dining room and eventually the master bedroom. She was singularly one of the most gracious clients ever and a delight to work with. Invoices were paid promptly and they welcomed my expertise and recommendations. She told me that often service people thought she was the maid when first speaking to her. I immediately felt guilty as this is what I had done. Wow, if I had treated her the way I judged her, I’d have missed out on a wonderful client, profitable projects, and a valuable learning experience.
The Woman in the Red Dress
Personally, I remember going to Neiman Marcus years ago (yes, I know it may be “needless mark up” to you but it can be fun to be frivolous every once in a while.) I was dressed in jeans, a casual shirt, no make-up and looking generally like I didn’t belong. I selected a gorgeous beaded gown, found a dressing room, since no sales person would give me the time of day, and I tried it on. It was half price (still ridiculous and what a gown, crimson chiffon with crimson irridescent beads, I’ll never forget it.) I was really frustrated by the lack of attention so I figured I’d see what would happen at check out. It was hilarious. I brought the dress to the register and they still barely acknowledged me until I pulled out my Neiman’s card, then they fell all over themselves. Well it was way to late for that. I had already decided I’d bring the dress back, cut up the card and cancel the account. I didn’t need to shop anyplace that judged my worth based on my appearance.
Are you doing this with your prospects? Are you applying inappropriate filters to those you meet both offline and online and maybe losing out on fabulous fits? Be careful, it can be shockingly easy to do, not to mention embarrassingly common. Like that bumper sticker said, let’s all be about “LESS JUDGMENT, MORE CURIOUS.”
Please share your stories on this, I know I’m not the only one!
It’s amazing that we can all remember a time when we were judged and how we feel slighted like your Pretty Woman experience, but we fail to recognize when we might be doing it It would be interesting to think about some warning signs to look out for when you feel the judgement sneaking up on you.
Nora,
Great idea for a follow up post, thank you and of course I welcome you to contribute!
Hugs, Melissa
Melissa,
I agree. I think it comes down to the golden rule and treating everyone with respect. As we all have learned, it holds true in our business dealings and personally. Everyone is in our success path.
Kind regards,
Juliane
Juliane,
It is about the Golden Rule, very true. Always great to hear from you. Love to see that lovely face showing up with comments (I did it with gravatar.com)
Hugs, Melissa
Hi Melissa~
I have had both types of experiences. I was brought up by parents who are extremely critical and judgemental…it is a daily awareness that helps me to address these tendencies in myself. You are right in that it is so easy to pre-judge before getting to know someone…I think remembering how it feels is a good way to help us be aware and not repeat it!
Have a beautiful weekend~
Kathleen
Kathleen,
That is interesting because you strike me as one of the most gracious and least judgmental of anyone I know! Sounds like painful lessons that have made a big difference in your life today. Thank you for sharing.
Hugs, Melissa
Melissa, this is not directly related to this article, I just wanted to let you know that its so nice to read something that has clearly been written with care, and not something slapped out as if to some homogenous readership. Thank you. Pertinent as well of course 🙂
Jeanette,
Sorry I missed this lovely comment! Yes, I take care with each post and have fun with the writing. Please let me know if ever it feels otherwise.
Warmly, Melissa
Waited on a customer one Saturday afternoon who came to the store in an old pickup and wearing greasy overalls. He wanted a new dining room suite since it was “his wife’s anniversary”. I was showing him inexpensive items but he gravitated to a very expensive suite and asked if he could take it with him. I hesitatingly asked how he planned to handle the payment, and he pulled a coffee-can sized roll of $100 bills from his pocket and said “Will cash be ok?” That’s when I learned this same lesson.
Wow Tom,
What a great story, thanks so much for sharing and sorry for my delayed response, I somehow missed a handful of these.
Yes, valuable lessons always in our tendency to judge books by their covers and peeps by their coveralls!
Warmly, Melissa
My error was in trying to save the customer $$. We got a call from a man who asked if we could cut some glass for him. He sounded sort of old and said they were restoring an old house. I kept telling the man that he could save himself some money and do it himself but he didn’t want to.
So my husband goes to the house they are renovating to cut the glass. Turns out the renovation was nearly $1 million and the owners ended up commissioning 4 stained glass panels from my husband. And I did the window treatments in the entire house. The $50 “please cut some glass for us” job turned into a $76,000 project. I still suggest ways for my clients to save money, but I’m not turning little jobs away!
Judy,
You are right, little jobs do lead to big jobs, but I am always careful about offering money saving tips unless I know that is something the client wants. And, I also never suggest DIY but err on the side of doing it for them.
Warmly, Melissa
I’m not turning anyone away. I just don’t have anyone TO turn away! 🙂
Christina,
Be selective, no matter where you are in business. If you simply take whoever shows up you will set your business up with clients not of your choosing. Trust me, I’ve been there! Until I got selective, I didn’t have top drawer clients.
Warmly, Melissa
We know we should not pre-judge anyone and yet human nature sometimes takes over and we forget. I had a similar experience to your red dress encounter many years ago in my home country where we have quite a bit of ‘shadeology.’ This was in an exclusive jewelry/home decor store (think crystal, Lladro etc.) I walked in and no one gave me the time of day but I was in Human Resources and had lots of company money to spend as I was purchasing gifts for company retirees. By the time someone deigned to ask if they could help, I’d decided that they would not get a dime in sales from me.
On the other hand, over the years in my Direct Sales business, I’ve found that women I thought could not afford more than basic skin care have purchased an entire set of skin care products and more.
Thanks for a great article and good reminders, Melissa.
Thanks so much Yvonne,
Great lessons on both sides!
Warmly,
Melissa