As I was walking one of my favorite British clients through marketing and social media last week, she suddenly told me that I reminded her of a sheepdog. I was a bit taken aback at first. We were on skype and it wasn’t a video call so there was no visual reference here! Then she explained that it is because I round up her scattered focus and efforts and get her pointed in the right direction and moving forward. And she is right, that is exactly what a sheep dog does with a flock. I quite enjoy the metaphor now and will be using it going forward. I’ve always struggled with the title of coach and mentor fits me much better because of this.
A coach typically will ask leading questions that make you do all the work and once you come up with the answers you then move yourself forward but a mentor has many answers from their years of experience, their expertise, their education and freely shares these as appropriate and needed to get you back on track and moving forward rapidly. Much like the sheepdog, the mentor knows where you need to go to reach your goals and will head you in that direction and keep you there by nipping at your heels, so to speak. Mentoring is a lot more about giving you that proverbial kick in the pants to keep you going than it is about holding your hand to make you feel better. I find mentoring, both being one and having one, to be a more engaged and interactive process than coaching.
The question to answer is what kind of support do you need to get your business in gear. Do you need a shepherd, as in a coach, who will keep an eye out for you, ask leading questions, and help you find your own path. 
Or are you looking for a sheepdog, as in a mentor, who will give you answers you seek based on their experience, provide resources when you need them, and give you that nip at the heels (or kick in the pants) to keep you on track and moving forward with fire? What works for one business professional is different than what works for another. There is no one size fits all, but instead the right guidance (mentor) or support (coach) at the right time.
And yes, there are those who will take affront at my definitions. Hey, these are my definitions, based on my experience with both coaches and mentors, and finding what works for me and what works for my clients. This is about finding your best fit and I welcome your comments and feedback.
I have recently successfully completed a certificate in Dramatherapy, and during one of the enactments, when I was containing the protagonist’s exasperated need to break free, I likened myself to a sheepdog. This attitude is not one I would normally attribute to myself, but I do believe there is something peculiarly maternal about being a sheepdog. I’ve probably offended half of the population now, but I do wonder whether there would be a statistically significant ratio of male coaches to female mentors?
As I said, most of the time I don’t relate to either category. Someone, after all has got to be the sheep!
But if I grow up . . .
Katrina,
You haven’t offended anyone at all. I am much like a sheepdog in my nipping at client’s heels an keeping them on track, and sure it is maternal on some level (I skipped having kids!)
Warmly, Melissa
Hi Melissa,
I love your definitions of Coach and Mentor. I was also not comfortable with the whole ideal of Coaching. I am a Mentoring kind of woman for myself, and my business. I pour my know how and experience into others to give them the hand up, and not the hand out. In turn I need the same kind of mentoring. Keep doing what you do the way you do it Melissa. It’s wonderful how you care comes through.
Blessings,
Jana 😀
Thanks Jana,
It is the only way I know how to be and you said it well, “hand up, never a hand out.”
Hugs, Melissa
Hey Melissa,
I love this post, the pictures, and mostly the distinctions you come up with.
In my business I’m far more action oriented, telling my clients how to breakthrough, giving them techniques, etc., but never attached the word mentor to that. I was going more with consultant.
But I think mentor has a much nicer ring to it.
Thanks for sharing this!
Therese,
You are most welcome, I find that consultant is too corporate for me and generic. Mentor says it all.
Hugs, Melissa
Thank you for clarifying the difference for me between a coach and a mentor. I have been struggling to determine what I need and this does it for me. Due to the accountability factor that I need, I am now clear that I need to work with a mentor, not a coach to get me where I need to go.
Trying to always find my own answers with a coach is mentally exhausting. I now know that I need a mentor to tell me what is best for me at this particular point in my business.
Audrey,
So glad to help on this, I know what you mean about mentally exhausting! LOL. It’s why I became a mentor and don’t want to be called a coach, I’m not one.
Hugs, Melissa
I have never had the desire to be a coach. Being a teacher/mentor is much more my style. I love this post! I really had never broken it down and examined the difference in quite this way. Very clarifying! Thanks Melissa!
God Bless
Celene Harrelson
Celene,
Glad to hear this resonated, funny because I almost get defensive when called a coach. It really is a very different style.
Warmly, Melissa
Hey Melissa,
Thank you for breaking down the definition of a mentor versus coach. I enjoyed reading this post so much. I had the great pleasure in meeting you in person last week on your trip to Boston. I follow you on Twitter, participate in your teleseminars, and subscribe to your blog and newsletter. I always enjoyed your content and authenticity. Once I read you were coming to my neck of the woods I had to meet you. Once we met the first thing I said to you is I consider you as my “virtual mentor”. You truly are the epitome of what a mentor is and should be. Your definition is right on: “The mentor knows where you need to go to reach your goals and will head you in that direction and keep you there by nipping at your heels, so to speak”. That’s exactly what you did and never sugarcoated or held your tongue, which I appreciate. I can not express in words how much meeting you meant to me. It was so powerful and meaningful to me I cried once we went our separate ways. They were tears of joy and happiness of course. Everything I’ve learned from you has been extremely helpful in keeping me going forward, knowledgeable and accomplishing my goals. I have direction and focus now rather than scattered plans. You are so genuine and passionate about what you do, I admire you tremendously Melissa. I would like to thank you from the bottom of my heart. When I read this quote you popped in my mind:
“The smallest act of kindness is worth more than the grandest intention”~ Oscar Wilde
~Diana
Diana,
You are most welcome and I am excited to see where your journey and new found focus takes you. I love to support the success of others, particularly my creative colleagues and you are one.
I’ve not doubt you will achieve your dreams and look forward to meeting again and mentoring farther.
Hugs, Melissa
Having been the companion of 8 Border Collies, there are some other characteristics that you share Melissa:
Border Collies are
highly sensitive
outstandingly intelligent,
have infinite, tireless energy
always sleek and beautiful,
resolutely faithful,
can be taught tricks very easily! LOL
your companion in everyone’s greatness
Jenni P
Melissa, it would be lovely to have a place where all your followers and mentees could meet!:)
Love Jenni